文章一覽： Learn to Love Yourself in Seven Weeks (新回覆在最前面,最多列出 6 個) [列出所有回覆]
德吉千瀚
發表於： 2009/09/20 04:06pm
<b> Learn to Love Yourself in Seven Weeks </b><BR> Boost your sense of personal worth with pro tips from a life coach
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“Loving yourself means putting yourself at the top of the priority list,” says Toronto-based life coach, Ellen Goldhar. “But most women are accustomed to doing the opposite.” With the help of a life coach, or on your own, consider the following tips (one week at a time) and watch how much better you feel the next time you catch your reflection. <BR><BR> Week One —Focus on positive self-talk<BR> Most of us make an effort to speak kindly to colleagues and friends while paying little regard to how we talk to and about ourselves. Have you ever noticed how unrelenting that little voice inside your head can be? “Even when it seems we’re sitting in silence, our brains are receiving messages,” explains Goldhar. “Start paying attention to those messages. Are they providing you with confidence or chipping away at your self-esteem?” Though there is no on/off switch for that voice, you can free yourself from its harm. <BR><BR> First, become aware of your thoughts and replace critiques with compliments. Second, focus on what you like about yourself by finding your best features. Finally, don’t beat yourself up when you do have negative thoughts. Just know that you have the power to shift them. <BR><BR> Week Two — Let yourself off the hook <BR> “One of the keys to loving yourself is being able to forgive yourself,” says Goldhar. As women, we tend to hold on to our past — decisions we made, things we said, and failed expectations. In order to feel good about yourself, you must make peace with your past and let go of the accompanying guilt. To move forward, consider writing forgiveness letters to yourself using a journal. “Once you free up space in your life, new relationships, decisions and opportunities will present themselves.”
<BR><BR> Week Three — Clean house<BR> “Just as we clear our homes of clutter, so too should we clear our lives of toxic relationships,” says Goldhar. “We all know someone who drains our energy or makes us feel bad.” In loving yourself, you might become more choosey about who you spend time with, and how much time you give to unrewarding relationships. “Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime, and if you are able to let go of ones that aren’t serving you, you’ll create time and space for people who are supportive of and conducive to your growth.”
<BR><BR> Week Four — When your body talks, listen<BR> “When our body starts showing physical symptoms, it’s an indication that we haven’t been listening to it for quite some time,” says Goldhar. “Loving yourself means honouring your body as a complete system.” Begin by responding to your basic needs. Eat food before you start to feel famished and drink water before you get dehydrated. Then, commit to checking in with yourself on a regular basis. Notice when you are feeling tension, for example, and then take the time to identify what is causing that stress or pain and relieve it. <BR><BR>
Week Five — Follow the thread of excitement <BR> “It’s amazing how many clients at midlife can’t even tell me what they like or what excites them anymore,” Goldhar say. “They’ve spent so much time focusing on everyone else’s needs, they’ve forgotten their own.” When it comes to choosing a hobby or considering a new career, take a step-by-step approach. Research the choices available (through an online job board or community-center calendar) and then pick one or two things that make you feel most excited. “Instead of trying to make permanent decisions right away, get in the habit of choosing activities based on how they make you feel.”
<BR><BR> Week Six — Ask for what you need<BR> “Asking to be pleasured sexually is a loving thing to do for yourself,” says Goldhar. “But it’s something not all women feel comfortable doing.” No matter how old you are or how long you’ve been in your relationship, there is no better time to start honouring your own needs and desires. “There are many supportive and informative books out there, which is often the best place to start,” Goldhar advises. “Then, sit down with your partner (with a glass or wine, or even a shot of tequila) and have this very important conversation, which may prove to be relationship-changing.”
<BR><BR> Week Seven — Learn to say “No” <BR> “Being selfish is a good thing,” says Goldhar, “despite what you may have been taught.” Saying “No” is your right, and the more you practice, the easier it will become. There are some things we don’t have the luxury to say no to, so when the choice is yours, honour how you’re feeling rather than pushing yourself because of obligation.
